I had a talk with The Lord today and it went a little something like this…
Me: Lord, I’m tired…
God: I know
Me: No really God, I don’t think you understand. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I feel misused, unappreciated, drained, and alone.
God: But you aren’t alone…you know that!
Me: I know, I know… You’ll never leave or forsake me, right?
Me: Well why doesn’t that feel sufficient. My mind knows this, but I am struggling…
God: I know… But better to struggle than to give up, right? Do you remember what I have told you? This race is not given to the swift but to those who endure to the end. I know that it’s hard. But press onward… and stop trying to carry the burdens of life alone. Give them to me. You never really do that, you know?….
Me: Yes I know… It’s very hard. I try to give it all to you, but somehow I always find myself picking up those same burdens…
God: And that’s why you are so tired…. I have told you to lay aside every weight that slows you down. You keep getting tripped up because you’re picking up things that I have told you over and over to let go…You’ve got to let it go. Don’t you see how holding on to all these things slow you down… I was built for this, you weren’t.
Me: Ok, but I need your help God. I don’t understand myself at all. In my heart, I know that I want to live for you. I want to trust you with my whole heart. I want to do what is pleasing in your sight, but I can’t do this in my strength…I need you to fix me.
God: And I am my child. But my process of pruning you is not on your schedule… You must trust my way of doing things. And you must be obedient to my teachings…
Me: I understand. But you know how much I struggle with things not being on my schedule… I really don’t have a lot of patience. You already know that… I need your help with that too Lord :-/
God: Yes, you do… and that is what I am developing in you; patience and endurance. The tests and trials that you are going through serve a divine purpose. And when I am finished with you, you won’t be lacking anything. I know the plans that I have for you. I am time, so I see the beginning and the ending all at the same time. You don’t; therefore you must trust me. Continue to believe in my transformative power. Fight the good fight of faith and trust me to complete the good work that I have begun in you.
Me: Ok Lord… I will continue to believe and have faith. Honestly, I don’t have any other choice. You’re my only hope…
God: Exactly… Hold firm to that truth my child. I AM your only hope, so stop seeking solace from this world. No person and nothing will ever be able to comfort your heart like I can. I created you to delight in Me, the Creator. Seek Me above all else and I will keep you in perfect peace.
Me: Yes Lord…I understand….. Will you please stay close to me today? I really need you.
God: Aren’t I always nearby?
Me: Yes :) Thank you for always being there…Even when I try to run in the opposite direction.
God: I told you… I’ll never leave or forsake you.
Me: Lord…One more thing…
Me: I love You.
God: I love you too my child. My love runs deeper than you could ever imagine and NOTHING can separate you from my love. Have a great day! And remember, I am right here if you need me :)
Misplaced desires are a clear indicator of just how desperately we need Jesus…Have you ever wondered why you will grab your cellphone before you grab your Bible… or why you can spend all day talking to people, but only spend 15 minutes talking to Jesus…or how you can easily spend money on something frivolous, but you are reluctant to give your money to someone in need (or maybe you do so and then think that you should get a prize for doing it.) Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “Why am I like this?”
We all struggle with our desires and the bottom line is, many people desire the world and worldly things more than they desire Christ. And what’s even more frightening is that some people will deny their misplaced desires simply because they have the perfect moral façade. But guess what?? Morality is not holiness!!! Morality can never replace holiness. You can be as moral as they come, but if your outward expressions are not the result of an inward change, then your morality means absolutely nothing. Morality is counterfeit holiness. It will fool you for a little while, but it is not the real deal. If you believe the lie of morality, then you’ll be the very person standing in front of God saying “But God, I’m a good person, I did this and I did that…” and He will respond, “Depart from me, I never knew you.”
Over the years, life has turned me into what I like to call a “fixer”. I try to fix everything. If there is a problem, I want to fix it immediately. And honestly, my ability to fix things is pretty good. But one thing that I cannot fix, is my heart. I do not have the ability to TRULY change my heart. I can try to fabricate change all day long, but there’s really nothing in my power that I can do. Jeremiah 17:9 says,
“The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?”
So this scripture alone, lets you know just how bad the heart is… We can’t even understand it! (Sheessh!!) The heart is where the root of our actions lie. The heart is where our desires are brewing. So when we go out and do something bad, we are simply acting upon or manifesting something that was already in our hearts. And instead of admitting that our hearts are deceitfully wicked, we simply try to cover it up with the mask of morality. (Been there, done that, got a t-shirt!) But God doesn’t want a mask of morality. He doesn’t want our fabricated love for Him. He doesn’t want us to appear to be Christians. He doesn’t want a façade. God actually wants us to be desperate for Him. He wants us to return Him, our first and truest love (Revelation 2:4).
I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that “I have arrived” and that I don’t struggle with my own desires. I’d definitely be lying, because I struggle with my desires daily!!! I feel exactly like Paul when he said, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:15). If you would allow me to be completely honest, I will admit that I must constantly remind myself that I don’t need anything else in this world more than I need Jesus. This is a very difficult struggle. And I am often extremely unsettled by the fact that I frequently find myself seeking out the comforts of this world more than Christ. It’s as if my mind knows better, but my heart just hasn’t caught up with my mind. I reallyyyyyy want to desire Him. I want to wake up in the morning and not fight with myself when it comes to studying His Word or sleeping in for another 30 minutes. I want to be completely unbothered by the fact that I’m 27 years old, not married and without children. I want to not worry about money. I want to live completely confident in the fact that I am not lacking anything as long as I have Jesus. I want my desires to catch up with where I know I should be, but they haven’t. And so, I have to keep praying through this struggle. But even though this is a difficult process, each day, I am reminded of just how desperately I need Christ. My misplaced desires are a continuous sign of just how much I need to call on The Lord. My misplaced desires show me the essence of depravity and because I am depraved (and I know it), I am ultimately filled with hope. Simply put, I have hope because I know that God can change me. Therefore, my hope is in Him. I know that He can create in me a clean heart. He has told me so in His Word…
“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations” (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT).
God is the only way that we can be freed from our wicked desires. He is the only One who can truly change our hearts. And that is where I place my complete faith… in His ability to perfect me, and make me holy; not in my own ability to merely create a moral façade.
So I will leave you with this… Take time to do a serious self-check of your own heart. Look at the things you do on a day-to-day basis and ask yourself, why is it that you do it? I am almost certain you will realize that you too, have misplaced desires. I pray that this revelation will lead you further away from the place of substituting morality for holiness, and closer to a place of fervent prayer, patience, and complete faith in God’s ability to truly heal you. There is hope in Jesus Christ!
Love and Blessings!
Have you ever stopped to look at a piece of mosaic art?? Isn’t it amazing how so many pieces (that are different shapes, sizes and colors) can come together to make a full masterpiece that is so beautiful!??
Long story short, I was talking to The Lord today, and I confessed to Him that I felt like my life was a mess. I confessed that I felt like my whole life was broken into a million pieces because of my own mistakes and disobedience (both past and present). I thought about how confused I’ve been feeling lately, and I couldn’t remotely wrap my mind around how my broken life could be fixed. I confessed to Him that I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I just can’t get it right. I felt like I was taking 2 steps forward and 10 steps back. I felt defeated and as if I was a disappointment to The Lord. I felt like He was tired of revisiting the same issues over and over with me.
But in the midst of my confession, Jesus simply spoke the word “Mosaic” to me. I wasn’t sure if I heard Him right, so I Googled the definition, then I looked for a picture. As I scrolled through the pics, I heard Him say to me, “this is what I can do with your life. I can take each broken, and seemingly misplaced piece and intricately put them together to make a beautiful masterpiece…”
Whew!!! After that, I literally sat in complete awe and silence for a few minutes. What a beautiful illustration, that Jesus custom-tailored to minister directly to me! A part of me didn’t want to share this experience, because, let’s face it, it’s never easy to admit your struggles as a Christian. In fact, it is especially hard to confess your weaknesses and struggles when everyone else is looking at you like your life is perfectly fine. However, I shared this moment with the hope that someone else will read my own personal story and find encouragement.
You may be feeling broken, lost, confused, defeated, etc. but don’t give up. This walk as a Christian is not easy. But The Lord sees you and He is there walking with you, even when you think He isn’t. Although your life may seem bleak right now, remember that it’s not the end. It’s not over! You’re reading this right now, so that means you’ve got another opportunity to put your trust in Christ and to surrender to Him again. You’ll never figure this life out on your own. There will be times where you feel completely lost. But your assurance must remain in Christ. Even when you feel like you’ve shattered your life into a million pieces, don’t give up! Those million pieces that you are staring at can easily be turned into a wonderful masterpiece. Just put your whole faith in Christ and press on!
Be encouraged friends!
From my heart to yours,